How To Be Your Own Hype Man: A Self-Help Guide To Getting Your Mind Right

How to be your own hype man

A self-Help Guide to Getting your mind right

“The saddest thing in life is wasted potential.”

– A Bronx Tale

Truth is: I’m not the same person I was years ago.

Shit, I’m not the even the same person I was five minutes ago. 

I strive to constantly evolve and chances are if you’re reading this, you do too (or you’re really bored or nosey about what I’m doing in my life these days). 

Isn’t that a common human species goal? To constantly evolve and be a better version of yourself? A better version than the you, you were yesterday? 

Maybe not, and that’s okay too. Honestly I have nothing but respect for those people that are wholeheartedly and unapologetically content with who they are and where they are in life. Whether society considers them to be overweight, underweight, an asshole, a sloth, a womanizer, or an uppity know-it-all, if they own their shit, then ce la ve sister. 

But for those of you who aspire to change… ask yourself this: What is your reservation towards self-evolution? 

Are you scared of success? 
Are you scared of change?
Are you scared of not having enough time?
Does the work it will entail seem overwhelming? 
Have you previously “failed?”
Do you care what others think?
Do you not believe you are capable?
Do you not believe you’re worth it?
Are you scared that if you do you, that you’ll lose people you love (or think you love) in the process?
Are you scared you can’t be the mother you want to be if you also aspire to be the next Lady Gaga or even more scandalous.. Jenna Jameson? 

This list can go on and on but the point is… something is holding you back. And chances are
that something is you my friend.

I remember the whole entire time I was trying to get sober after acknowledging that I had a problem, I knew in my heart that I wasn’t destined to be an alcoholic and an addict for the rest of my life. That inner voice, my subconscious, was constantly whispering “you’re better than this. You can do this.”

This went on for years. 

Every relapse was closer to recovery though. Every failed attempt was closer to a major baby step. Every rock bottom was closer to building a foundation from which I rose. More times than not, we have to face rejection and failed attempts before we experience a success or a “yes.” That doesn’t mean we quit trying, it means we learn from experience and try something different. 

If I hadn’t believed in that method, I wouldn’t be typing to you now. 

Some methods I’ve used throughout my journey and most recently to increase self-evolution are the following: 

Read instead of Netflix
Run instead of rest
Rest instead of run (It’s important we listen to our bodies!)
Podcasts instead of music
Actually writing gratitude lists
Positive self-affirmations instead of negative self-talk (this is a daily, minute-by-minute practice people)
Being open-minded to suggestions (even the corny ones I’m about to spill on you)
Compliment instead of complain
Eliminate gossip (again, daily, by minute-by-minute practice)
Cooking at home instead of dining out
Writing – old school pen to paper people!

This is not an exhaustive list and obviously these activities take conscious effort and mindfulness. What works for one person, might not work for another. The point is, sometimes we need to tweak our current habits with new ones if we want to make positive change. Furthermore, what worked for you today might not work tomorrow. 

Our lives, the world, the universe is full of surprises. Some surprises are not so great. When life takes us by surprise and catches us off guard, it can totally throw a wrench into the healthy changes we are actively trying to make. One minute, we’re chugging our water and waking up early to go for our new daily runs and we come back one day to receive a call that we got a new gig as an overnight wizardry artist. 

Suddenly our sleep schedule is completely torqued and we find ourselves slurping down Red Bulls and Frappuccinos to stay awake then hitting up Dunkin Donuts on our way home to crash until our next shift. 

Why do we allow events outside of our control to disrupt the things we can control?

Because we’re human and subject to error.

We are emotional beings and whether we are willing to admit or not, our emotions drive our actions in almost all aspects of our life. 

This is why we stay in unhealthy relationships, act impulsively, and hold on to our great grandmother’s once removed, quilt blanket that is creating its’ own dust colony in our closet because it holds “sentimental value.” (And because we’re superstitious that if we chuck it to the curb, she’ll know and haunt us for eternity). 

In order to try to get a grip on our emotions, healthy habits and actions, and evolve, we need to dig real deep to get clear on our intentions and our why. 

When we figure out our why, we can start to eliminate some of those reservations I spoke about. Not only do we need to identify our why, but we need to get SUPER hype about it. Like corny, big deal, insane in the membrane hype. Why do we need to take it to this extreme? Because when the going gets tough, us humans tend to forget our why and look for an out in the form of an excuse. This is also where the motivation vs. discipline concept comes in (refer to Getting High & Avoiding Sinkholes: Why I Almost Quit Blogging). In short, motivation tends to fluctuate. So if we’re trying to maintain a new habit based solely on motivation, that might be short lived. We need to dive in knowing that we will have to incorporate self-discipline when the motivation isn’t there. 

Discipline is doing the things we aren’t necessarily motivated for at the time. And that is much easier said than done. 

So when I say get SUPER, corny, big deal, insane in the membrane hype, I mean actually take the suggestions that you’ve probably heard and read about before and will roll your eyes at once again reading now. The suggestions of creating a vision board, posting up positive affirmations on your mirror, joining a virtual accountability group, repeating affirmations to yourself all day long, reading inspirational books. This is your life people! This is your time to be feeling yourself and hardcore loving on yourself. If you think that positive self-talk is a crock of shit, let’s consider this from a negative perspective:

How many times a day do you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and unintentionally comparing yourself to others? 

“Why does Becky have the good hair and I have male pattern baldness?”

“There’s Felicia again, jump jacking her life away on her vibrant rainbow in the land of happy Unicorns that she floats around in, spouting all her inspirational bullshit.”

“Karen… freaking Karen.” 

And how does all that judgement and comparing leave you feeling? Like SHIT! So yes, if negative self-talk is a total self-esteem killer, have you ever considered that it works both ways?

“My hair is a horse’s mane and flowing like Fabio.”

“I love my body and my body loves me.”

“I am kind and non judgmental” 

“I am worthy of self-love”

“I am capable of ________.”

Now full disclosure: This is going to feel bizarre. It’s going to feel uncomfortable, fake, mechanical, and dorky to say the least. However all those icky feelings are also a signal that you are getting out of your comfort zone and doing something different. 

The first time you drove a car… it felt weird right? It sparked some anxiety. You had to have a heightened awareness and look both ways, all the ways, all the time. However, as you continued to gain driving experience, it became intuitive. You knew when to slow down, when to stop, when to anticipate certain things. This is the same skill-set you will use here.

You need to raise your awareness about what your goals are, what reservations or fears you have that have historically prevented you from starting them in the first place, then get all hyped up over your why. A major part of the hype process is affirmations. So consider some of the negative self-talk that ping pongs throughout your cerebrum constantly. Write that bullshit down and reframe it into a positive affirmation. Then place it on repeat until your thoughts become your beliefs, your beliefs become your actions, your actions become your habits and your habits become your reality (shout out to Jen Sincero here). 

Now inevitably, because we’re humans subject to external influence and error, our negative thinking is going to try to de-hype us. Just like people will give us the wrong directions. 

So when we feel like we’re being misguided, we get out our GPS and realize we have to turn right instead of left. Likewise, when you hear that negative false belief creeping back into your brain, it’s time to get out those affirmations and speak positively instead of negatively. The more you do this, the more intuitive it will become until you reach a place where you can immediately identify a false belief entering your precious conscious mind, and quickly kick it in the ass with a hype ass reframe. The more intuitive this process becomes, the more you can apply it to other areas of your life.

True story: I do this before any public speaking or job interview. I make sure I dress the part, I review my strengths, remind myself of why I am qualified for this and the main messages I want to be communicated. I also make sure I have some form of a turtleneck on because my neck gets all red when I’m nervous or angry. 

The point is, I have recognized that I have a fear of rejection and of not being accepted. The fact that I’m confessing this to you, is my way of saying that I am here, right alongside of you on this epic, ongoing journey to self-actualization (translation: living up to your fullest potential and living your best life). However because I’m human and negative self-talk still creeps up on me, I know that I have to have a serious defense plan to combat that anti-hypeness. 

Think about the power of positive psychology. Professional athletes do it all the time before a big game. Cancer patients who have faith and hope tell themselves they will survive. Children who haven’t been tainted by the world just yet believe they can be anything when they grow up. 

So I’ll bring it back to my question of: What is your reservation towards self-evolution? 

Insert glass half-empty response. 

Put your affirmation down, flip it and reverse it. 

Now place your new melody on repeat and speak it into existence. 

Us humans are capable of many things. You absolutely can be the architect of your future but it begins with believing and telling yourself exhaustively that you can do it and you are so, so, SO, worth it. 

Like the great Jen Sincero said: Thoughts = Beliefs = Actions = Habits = Realities

Until next time hype masters. 

-Sabrina Leigh

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