Free falling into Fear
Why you should scare the shit out of yourself on the regular
I’m fucking terrified of heights.
Which is exactly why I chose to go skydiving.
Rationally speaking, I’m 5’7 and already high enough off of the ground. Therefore there is no logical reason why an amazon woman like me should desire to be any higher off the ground than necessary, however being an adrenaline junkie is inherit in my DNA and after years of being fearful of change I have learned perhaps one of the most valuable life lessons:
Face your fears head on (or in my case, free fall tandem style from 15,000 feet in the air into them).
Most humans live in chronic fear. When we really analyze why we are hesitant to do or not do something it typically boils down to my least favorite f-word: FEAR.
There are two acronyms I’ve learned for FEAR in recovery:
“Face everything and rise”
“Fuck everything and run.”
The only benefit to the latter meaning is if it involves physical exercise (not running from the police, trust me).
Fear is one of those emotions that can be physically paralyzing. (not too mention hold you back from living your best life). When we are startled by something, our body physically reacts and depending on the severity of the situation, our sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight-or-flight response, effectively releasing a rush of adrenaline and noradrenaline throughout our body Evolutionary speaking, the fight-or-flight response is literally a survival mechanism and it supplies us with the energy to either run for the nearest escape, or throw down.
Which is exactly why I choose to do what the average person would consider to be insane leisure activities such as skydiving because the adrenaline rush released by the adrenal-cortical system is so rewarding, that it not only makes me grateful to be alive but it also makes me feel on top of the fucking world.
See when we face our fears and bring the darkness into light, we feel empowered and relieved because the fear is no longer in control, we are. For real, think about it, when you were a kid, and you were scared of the dark, you literally turned on the lights, saw nothing was there to be scared of, and immediately felt comforted. However the longer you laid there, fetal position under your sheets, sweating, heart racing…You envisioned the boogey man growing into the incredible fucking hulk, grabbing you by your ankles and dragging you into the sinkhole that was obviously under your bed and into the land of Pennywise the Clown (Cue the red balloon floating in your head right now).
In fact, most of your childhood fears haven’t been resolved, they’ve simply transformed and evolved.
Scared of mom leaving you when you went to daycare? Threw a full on tantrum, terrified that she would never return?
Now you’ve evolved into the controlling helicopter parent who has a GPS tracker on your own teen and severely lacks healthy boundaries.
Grew up in a broken home where your caretakers were routinely abandoning you?
Now you’re a terrified adult scared of your partner leaving so you’ve evolved into quite the effective codependent.
Scared to express your emotions as a child?
Now you’ve evolved into an emotionally unavailable adult and chances are I’ve dated you.
Fear Is Progressive.
See what we don’t repair, we repeat which is exactly why you should face your fears on the regular because they will continue to reappear in different forms until you’re ready to attack them. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. #ImHereForYou
I remember sitting in a 12 step meeting in early recovery. I was whining about how I owed all this money for medical debt that I had accumulated from frequent mental hygiene hospitalizations (see my post: Straight Jackets & Drunk Olympics) and that debt collectors were calling me all day, every day. Somebody spoke up and said, “why don’t you just answer one phone call? Screw the other 23 calls throughout the day.”
GENIUS! Brilliant suggestion! (This is why we need other people in early recovery because our problem-solving skills reside at the bottom of a bottle or bag).
FEAR held me back from opening my own mail in early recovery and in my head, I had accrued millions of dollars in debt. FEAR held me back from writing this blog and exploring my passion.
I have made it a mission on my recovery bucket list to scare the shit out of myself and face fears on a regular basis. Guess what, I’m still sober. Facing fears is an essential skill for long-term recovery. Aren’t you sick of hiding? Aren’t you sick of running? Recovery is like a muscle: the more you work it, the stronger it becomes. Which is exactly why you should face your fears on the regular. Make a recovery bucket list. List your fears. (Hint, hint: If you’ve done a 4th step, you should have this list handy). Now keep reading for fear demon slaying tips.
You have to be your own hype man.
See essentially all of our actions come down to what we are willing and unwilling to do. If you are unwilling to face your fears, then by all means, grab your blankie and get comfortable in the dark, the fear of the unknown and cuddle up with the boogey man who continues to increase in size the longer you avoid turning on the lights and facing him. However, if you’re willing to face your fears, then put on your favorite hype music, twerk a little (it’s good for the soul) and get on with it already!
Do you think those debt collector calls mattered to me after I jumped out of that plane? HELL NO. (On the other hand if things had turned out differently then maybe I wouldn’t have had to worry about that debt, but then I also wouldn’t be helping you slay your fear demons right now).
BITCH I JUST FLEW THREW THE AIR!! COME AT ME BRO!!
As human beings, we avoid pain and seek pleasure. When the pain becomes great enough, we become willing to change. The real question to ask yourself is: what is your pain tolerance?
For me, when that flight-or-flight is triggered and the adrenaline and anxiety starts pumping through my body, I envision a diagram. The first question I ask myself is “Am I going to die?”
…If not I proceed to the next question: “What’s the worst that could happen”
Is the worst that could happen is you’re told no? Will you lose a friend at the risk of being true to yourself? Will you lose something to gain something even greater?
Typically, we are afraid of not getting what we want or losing what we have. However Marilyn Monroe said it best “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
So throw the blankie, turn on the lights and face those fear demons!
Today’s the day when you stand up to that bitch Mildred who keeps stealing your PB&J out of the staff refrigerator.
Hold up wait a minute Mr. Debt Collector man, today I’m going to answer one of your phone calls and we are going to payment plan this thing out.
Whatever it is, this is your reminder that today is your day. Because…
Facing fears is empowering.
Facing fears is motivating.
Facing fears encourages you to face other fears.
Facing fears is a form of self-respect.
Facing fears is a form of self-care.
Facing fears makes you feel alive.
Facing fears promotes self-confidence.
Facing fears is self-growth.
Facing fears helps you heal from trauma.
Facing fears builds resilience.
Facing fears is admirable.
Facing fears makes you feel unstoppable.
Facing fears is badass.
-Sabrina Leigh
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Your amazing
This literally just made me feel so fucking good, I laughed a lot while also nodding my head. You’re so on point with everything and just love reading your shit. Fuck fear
[…] It had won for over two decades but I knew that by hitting “share” I was going to make myself accountable because once you put something on the internet, it’s always there. I knew that I was launching myself into my dreams and hopes, which parallels with launching ourselves through fear (reference my blog post Free Falling Into Fear). […]